Counselling and psychotherapy

Couple therapy is an invaluable intervention, designed to fix and hopefully optimise the participants’ relationship. Given the variety of therapeutic schools and approaches, there are numerous options for couples to sift through and decide what best fits their needs.

From Reach’s conception we have worked with individuals, couples, families and groups to great effect and we have applied the synergistic principles of our model to each of these arenas.

The purpose of this document is to summarise our simple approach to this complex area. As you would expect, our holistic and integrative precepts are at the centre of our methodology.

There are four key elements involved in how we address the idiosyncrasies of couple work. These are as follows:

1. Defining the problem

It might seem that this is an obvious starting position but the question, ‘what is the problem’, needs to be fully understood if the correct answer is to be found. We are not simply talking about the presenting symptoms because far too many therapeutic approaches focus almost exclusively on the reason the couple find themselves in the room. This is of course relevant and should never be dismissed. However, if the focus remains on the presenting concerns then the underlying causes are likely to be missed.

Our primary focus is to get to the underlying problem – which will take some examination and exploration.

In this first stage the couple will be invited individually and collectively to name and own their stuff. It’s so easy in relationships to develop the habit of blaming and complaining, to such an extent that one can canonise oneself whilst making the other person almost entirely responsible for what is wrong.

Even if we debate the percentages, the one thing for certain is that in ‘coupledom’ responsibility for what’s wrong always lies with both parties. This is something that tends to be more difficult to digest for the one who considers him or herself to be the aggrieved party. Yet with gentle probing and appropriate challenging, it does become clear that responsibility for what’s wrong never solely lies at one door.

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